Why I Created a Blog

If you get the sense while reading this that I’m happy, it’s because I am (and I’ll tell you why). My day went something like this: First, I worked with bright young students for hours. I teach them in the skills of engineering, and they teach me in the arts of patience, the science of kindness, the literature of young folk, and the math of when-to-misbehave-and-why. In the in-between moments, I see other teachers smiling just as large, and I don’t have to wonder why. These people also conveniently know when to stop smiling so as to get the message across, since they are well versed in when-to-misbehave-and-why. I go home and see two people (and two French bulldogs) who I love dearly. Just in case I don’t live here forever, I cherish every day in my home like it’s my last. Then, I commute to the gym (basement), enjoy music, complete squats, and rest on a loveseat while enjoying Lacroix seltzer between sets. Lastly, I step into the evening to find a hiking trail that might as well belong to me. I seldom see another soul here – only tall pines, running water, gentle winds, and the setting sun. My mind and body begin their wandering stroll.

How could I be unhappy when my life consists of days like these, all added up?

I don’t often share my ideas or updates, especially on social media, for fear of appearing boastful or vain (or maybe I’m just self-conscious). I also don’t feel that’s the best way to capture and share who I am. The consequence may be that my close friends, colleagues, and even sometimes family are left in the dark. I don’t regret my restrained attitude, since I strive for what I do to satisfy no one but myself. The goal of my writing will still not be to share my achievements or advertise my lifestyle – it’s my joy I can’t stand to keep to myself. I’m reminded of Christopher McCandless’ parting words from Into the Wild – “happiness is only real when shared.” If I inspire even one person with the joy, peace, or wisdom I’ve encountered, the mission of this blog is accomplished.

So here’s a bit about me, and my first attempt at that inspiration.

As you may have deduced from my solo activities described above, I’m someone who values solitude, and COVID has given me plenty. Having to respond to no one else’s needs or desires is a welcome break I think more should take. It’s during these moments that clarity comes, and it often stays with me long after the moments are over. I ought to be happy on my own, since I'm the person I’ll spend the most time with in my life. Having those moments by myself also makes me feel better when I do get around to seeing my friends. If I'm happy to begin with, I won't be a drag to be around. I try to make being in good spirits a precursor to hanging out with anybody. That's my secret to making sure we all have a good time.

Even though I'm positive, my friends might say I'm reserved. I’m not shy, there’s just a peace of mind that I enjoy when I’m around the people I know well. There’s no need for the filler conversation we often feel obliged to produce around new people. I’m also very selective about when to speak. Moments when people really open themselves up to listen are rarer than you think. I prefer to wait patiently for those moments to arrive. If anyone takes the time to really ask me what I’m up to and why I’m so content, I’m thrilled to share. I take pride in knowing I’ll usually have something to make them glad they asked. I don’t mean I’ve got anything sagacious to say – they may just get to see my big smile and hear my jovial response. The hard part is convincing me you really want to hear about it. I don't want to waste your time or mine.

If you’ve read this far, you have me convinced. Me creating this blog is an extension of that attitude. I don’t feel a strong obligation to most of the people who follow me on social media. I’m not convinced that you care that much. Which is fine. But I’m saving the juicy stuff for those who want to listen (AKA you).

You may be wondering at this point what’s got me so elated. What makes me so happy that I felt compelled to write about it? Don’t get your hopes up - it’s not as glamorous as you think. And I’m not sure I could explain it all in a short post. But my point exactly is that it shouldn’t take much to be content. Happiness happens in the brain, not in life’s circumstances. My circumstances don’t hurt though - my loving friends and family, my fulfilling work, my healthy body, my time outdoors, and my mindfulness practice come to mind as the things that do it for me. If any of the many people I love are reading this (you know who you are, I hope) – thanks for bringing joy to my life. I am, however, going to take precisely 50% of the credit for cultivating those relationships. As for the work, body, and mind, I’ll take most of the credit. I again don’t mean to be boastful, but it’s important to mention I’ve earned these things for those who say that I’m speaking from a place of privilege. “It’s easy to be happy when you’ve got all of those things going for you.” To that I say that it would be just as easy to be a spoiled brat. I work hard to take care of my mind and to perceive the world in a way that makes me happy.

Please forgive the rambling, unfocused nature of this post. I promise they will get more pointed as the purpose of this project does. I may write about travel adventures, book reviews, what it's like teaching 6th graders engineering in the Bronx, academia, or more personal nonsense. For now, I just want to learn to share and get over the hump of starting something like this. Posting online will help me hold myself accountable.

I thought this would be easy, since I’ve always enjoyed writing. What I realize now is it’s much harder to write about yourself (and then extra hard to share it). I’m used to completing assignments for which the objectives are given – now it’s my job to come up with those, which will be the hardest part. This blog may come to serve a different purpose, but for now it’s just my attempt to have you step into my brain so you can share my good moments and ideas. I haven’t decided yet if I’ll drag you along for the bad ones, too. It will also just be a practice arena for my writing. As it improves, what’s going on in my head and what you’re reading will converge. Until then, you get what you get and you don’t get upset. Thanks for reading.