The Principal Saw My Underpants
by Jared
It's the end of the week, just after a difficult test
Half my students are missing, and those who remain could sure use a rest
So while they look a bit down when I walk through the door
I'm glowing because I've got something in store
The class is AP Computer Science A, by the way
By chance a student just happens to say:
"Hey, can we do something fun for the day?"
Without even knowing what I had in mind
To lift our spirits and take a short break from the grind
The lesson? Machine learning - and here's how it goes
I'll be the machine. And what am I learning? Lord knows.
Because I step outside and let the students decide
What behavior I'm to emulate when I come back inside.
So upon my return I must learn what to do
It's some sort of pose or action, but exactly what, I've no clue.
I must try something random, if that's not it then another
I may jump, spin, or split, at some point I'll discover
Because just like the algorithm I'm trying to teach
I'll get reinforcement as I near the behavior to reach
The closer I get to the desired objective
The louder they'll clap as a human collective.
Just as I'm ready to reenter the class
You'll never guess who just happens to walk past
The principal, none other, on her way back to work
I ask her to stop in - what a chance for the new teacher to make proof of his worth.
I tell her what to expect when I walk in the room
To give some context as to why I'll act a buffoon
I take a deep breath, prepare to make me a fool
I thought 9 years ago was the last time I'd be embarrassed at this school...
Through the deafening silence I jump, twist, and pose
Desperately seeking the action they chose
I persevere, but just as I feel I've started to learn
Is when things took a rather unfortunate turn
Out of options, I try something approaching a split
And suddenly feel a soul-crushing rip
I thought this kind of thing only happened in dreams!
My hopes of saving embarrassment had ripped at the seams.
So here I am posing, frozen, wishing I was invisible
In front of none other than my boss, our principal
Junior only in rank to the superintendant
Showing one more layer than I ever intended
This whole exercise probably should have stopped there
But hey, I've come this far, what's one little tear?
From the students in front I can manage to hide
But I must keep in mind administration to my side
Through the feedback I've gained I know it's some sort of yoga position
So I work through chataranga like a man on a mission
Which if you're familiar with yoga you know involves
A rather unflattering position known as Downward-Facing-Dog
Which because of my position perpendicular to the class
Gives Principal Winston a full on view of my ass.
Until now, to be honest, I'm not sure anyone noticed
So it's probably silly to bring it into such focus
But in the very possible case that somebody did
I must beg your pardon
You did not deserve to see undergarments
Regardless, how better than this to finally get closure
If I'm not here next year
You know I've been fired for indecent exposure.